Freeman's Wood

Today's walk was Auntie Tricia's idea – she said I should go to Freeman's Wood. I had an idea of where it was, at the end of the quay, but I didn't know how to get into it. So, obviously, I Googled it. I really have hermitted myself these past few years because I had no idea there was a whole thing about Freeman's Wood. It won Town Green status in January this year, so it's not allowed to be built on and anyone can use it for recreation, which is marvellous. 

I parked here, where there was a huge abandoned building a few months ago. The biggest part of it has been demolished and cleared away – along with a large swathe of trees and shrubs. That's another whole thing – the developers cleared away an important natural habitat during nesting season. Spiteful arses. 

This is the path that leads to Glasson, four miles away. We'll get to that on a sunny day. Today, I was just trying to get into the wood. But I wasn't sure of the rules, and I didn't know if the Town Green thing meant I was allowed to walk anywhere I liked, or if there was a particular way into the wood that I would need to find. I decided to walk around the perimeter first to see what there was to see. I thought that, if I couldn't work it all out, I'd just go halfway to Glasson instead and enjoy the rain. Good plan.   

Off to the left, there's a ridge that goes all the way down to the fields at the end, and there are paths cutting across the ridge. But I still didn't know the rules, and I think whoever owns the wood likes it this way. They want people to not know if they're allowed to walk here; hence all the WARNING signs, which I'll show you in a minute. Here, a possible path into the wood, but I wasn't brave enough to try it without someone telling me I was allowed to:  

It looks very much as though the spiteful arses have left their signs up on spiteful purpose. These are spaced at regular intervals. I've just had a bit of a read about the arguments over this land over the past couple of decades, and it looks very complicated and I don't fully understand it. But I'm definitely on the side of the Town Green people! Stick it to the Man! Green spaces for everyone!

Most of the signs have been vandalised, so that's good. 

Did I mention that it was raining heavily today? This has been my first lockdown walk in heavy rain. Matthew and I have been out in drizzle a few times, but never properly heavy rain. The thing about heavy rain is that you have to be prepared to get soaked and just crack on. Unless you have waterproofs, which I obviously don't. I have my two pairs of trainers, my two pairs of jeans, and various t-shirts, hoodies and coats that are not made for walking. Whatever, man. This is who I am – like An Idiot Abroad, I am an idiot out for a walk. I will never be any different; I will never be properly prepared or equipped; I will always end up either slightly lost or at least a bit bewildered. But I'm still having fun, six months after I started this crazy ride!

So here you get a little sense of the weather today. There's Freeman's Pools, that place I discovered a bunch of weeks ago and thought was awesome. That haze isn't fog, it's rain. Awesome. The rainy walk I've been meaning to take for months.

I've shown you this sign before, but I get it now. Stick it to the man!

Okay, right, so I got to the end of the wood and I hadn't found an obvious welcoming way in, so I had to decide what to do next. I could backtrack a bit and scramble over that muddy rise, but I had convinced myself that there would be security personnel patrolling the wood to keep the public out. That's what fences and 'keep out' signs are intended to do – make you think you're a criminal if you step over the boundary. But I knew, and you know, that I would be going in there at some point on this walk. I briefly considered just taking the easy path away from the wood and going halfway to Glasson, but that would be the coward's way out.

So I turned down here instead. I was fairly certain that this was a perimeter path around the wood, so I decided to walk as far as it would take me – all the way round the wood would be cool, but I suspected the Marsh estate would be somewhere not too far ahead, so I'd have to rethink again if that was the case.

For a little while, I just tramped along, enjoying the fact that my hair was getting drippy and my jeans were pretty much soaked right through. I'd worn my contact lenses today – decisions have to be made when you're a glasses wearer and it's raining. Do you put up with being unable to see through your glasses, do you take an umbrella or make sure you have a large hood, do you wear contacts in the knowledge that if too much rain drips from your hair into your eyes your lenses will get sticky and fall out or roll into the back of your head, or do you go without vision correction of any kind and have a miserable time because you can't see where you're going? Because I'd chosen contacts, I had to keep wiping my eyes on my wet sleeves very carefully. When the Olympic Torch when past the end of our street in 2012, the rain was torrential, my lenses got sticky and one fell out. Great day, that was.

Anyway, the wood. I followed the fence for some yards, looking out for a gap. I was ready to be rebellious and step over the boundary, just as soon as the opportunity presented itself. 

Eventually, aha! A gap in the fence. I looked so dodgy, I'm sure, as I stood here for a few seconds, trying to decide whether to climb through or carry on down the path. I full-on peered into the wood, looking for ... what? Other people, clear signs that I wasn't allowed in there, security personnel, guard dogs.

And then I climbed through.

As soon as I did, I got that prickly feeling down the back of my neck, as though someone was watching me. No one was, obviously. But I think I probably watch too many period dramas – Poldark, in particular, has a piece of land in it that looks like this. Its owner, George Warleggan, has the land fenced off and 'keep out' signs erected, and Demelza gets shot just a little bit as she's climbing over the fence. I thought of this scene as I stepped through this gap in the fence, and from that point I felt as though I had a target on my back. Such a weirdo.

I was puzzled. As you can see, there are definite paths in the wood, and I'd read that the Town Green application was successful, so I was fairly sure I was allowed to be here. But I couldn't shake that feeling that I was about to be caught and asked to leave. 

I took a right turn and found myself here. Thick nettles, muddy puddles and a big, open, rainy sky. Brilliant. I plunged into this wild and tangled brush, still feeling that prickle down the back of my neck. I kept looking behind me, ready to run if I needed to. I mean, I don't run, but I think I still could in an emergency. 

Ooooh, there's a field in the middle! It has well-trodden paths, but there was no one else here, so I still couldn't tell if I was allowed. I picked a direction and set off across the field, but I suddenly felt very exposed indeed, and the target on my back felt much bigger, so I immediately did an about-face and dived back into the shrubbery. Nope! I was fairly certain now that the Town Green thing I'd read about on the internet this morning must have been fake news, and I was definitely going to be shot, or at least shouted at, if I was caught on this piece of land.

Back in the wood, I immediately got lost and couldn't find the gap in the fence. There were paths criss-crossing all over the place and I couldn't remember which one I'd taken. I picked one, reached a clearing and a dead end and had to turn back. I was going in circles, and it was as though that scary field was trying to pull me back in. I was beginning to think I'd never get out of here alive.

As you know, on rainy days or when paddling, I don't really bother trying to keep my feet dry. Today was no exception, and the first puddle I came to, I just waded through it. I wonder how long a pair of trainers will last when they're treated this way. Guess we'll find out. 

What seemed like half an hour later, but in reality was probably less than two minutes, I found the gap in the fence and was back on the safe path. Back to my original plan of seeing what would happen if I followed the perimeter. There were some people walking their dogs on the path I probably should've stayed on, and I tried not to look dodgy as I emerged, dripping, from the possibly forbidden place.

Look at this gorgeous twisty tree.

Cows. Yeah, they're everywhere round here, but I feel compelled to show them to you whenever I see them. 

Now that I wasn't worrying about whether I was on private land, even though I knew the land wasn't private, I was having a jolly time. It was properly pouring with rain, but I was quite toasty warm in my jumper and winter coat, all good. I passed a few more people out walking their dogs around here, all in waterproofs and wellies, very sensible. But is it fun if you don't get wet feet? 

The path, as I suspected from the beginning, comes out on the Marsh estate. I think we can agree that this area is definitely intended for public use, including, as it does, teeny goals, big goals and a play area. Okay, great. So where next? Errrr, I wasn't sure. Through the Marsh, back round to the river, all the way down the quay, and past the Scandinavian houses? Hmm, probably not – when you've been into the woods, you don't really want to go back to civilisation so soon. Happily, I spotted a man walking his dog (this seems to be a thing here) on the other side of the field, and he'd come very definitely from the wood. I reckon he'd probably even been in that field right in the middle that I'd been too scared to cross. Very good! I suddenly felt very confident that the Town Green success had not been fake news and that I was in actual fact free to walk anywhere I wanted.  

It's 'our land', you see. Great! Totally get it now.

Heading back into the wood, I immediately faced a slight problem. Have you ever seen or played the game Temple Run? You, as the little character, run through a maze, collecting coins and stuff, jumping over and sliding under obstacles as you go. Sometimes, part of the path falls away and you have to avoid falling down a ravine or off a cliff. This was very much like that. Half of the path had fallen into the brook on the left. I was fairly confident I could get across because, as we've established, I don't fall. But I did have a slight palpitation when I got halfway across here and my foot slipped, causing me to go 'Aagh' and grab hold of the fence. 

That obstacle overcome, I was back in the wood. I was able to enjoy it properly this time and was no longer looking behind me every few seconds. There were paths heading in all directions and I could've followed any of them – and no doubt I'll explore more of them in the months to come – but I kept fairly straight this time.

I reached the field – hurrah! What I can tell you about the field is that it's quite boggy in places, and if you cut across the middle, you have to walk through long grass, which is great fun. I saw more people walking their dogs this time – where were they twenty minutes earlier when I thought I was breaking the law, eh? 

Back into the wood, I decided I was wet enough now and could do with a cup of tea and some toast, so time to head home. I was a little torn because I really liked being out in the rain, but ... tea and toast.

I passed some BMX jumps – I must tell Thomas. Or maybe ask him if he's already been here. He probably has. Mostly I think he skateboards, but I've seen him do some BMX jumps too. 

I was almost back at the car when I decided to take a little video so you could hear the rain and my splashy walking. 

And that was that. All done. Two miles in the rain, nice and soaked, phone still working, back not hurting, and law not broken. Very good. I briefly thought about driving to a different place and doing a second walk, but once the heater warmed up, that didn't sound like quite so much fun.

Until tomorrow, rebels.

WQ