There we are, midnight walk done, just like I said. Matthew's gone to bed now, but I can't seem to resist my dinky little MacBook, so I'll just write this real quick and then I'm off to sleep too. Apologies if you know nothing at all about the Marvel universe – it's likely you won't have a clue what I'm talking about for much of this post, but this is genuinely what happened.
We just popped down to the ugly blue train bridge, half a mile there, half a mile back. The sky was very dramatic indeed, and then some aliens attacked and started shooting particle beams at us, so we had to assemble the Avengers really quickly. This took most of the our walk, which, thinking about it, was a little bit too long because aliens can completely destroy a planet in less than twenty minutes. Fortunately, these seemed to be a little less competent than your average earth-destroying aliens.
By the time we got to the top of the little hill and could see the castle (where we will not be watching the fireworks this year because they have already been cancelled), we had been through most of the Avengers and still hadn't decided who would be which. We had decided that only the four of us could be Avengers, and that we'd fill in the rest with the real ones from the films ... because, you know, the ones in the films are genuine superheros.
By the time we got to the ugly blue train bridge (blurred, sorry – but we were trying to assemble Avengers, dudes, I didn't have time to worry about non-blurry photos!), we'd decided on our first Avenger – Matthew was the only one worthy of being Captain America.
Here's Matthew:
We were slightly distracted from our mission as we climbed the steps and had to stop breathing so that we wouldn't get high from whatever was being smoked under the bridge. That done, we stopped here for just a few minutes to catch our breath again and decide who James should be. Since James is the moodiest at the moment, and also he says that he really hates Matthew but we know he doesn't, we decided that he should be Bucky Barnes.
Here's James, as James Buchanan Barnes, wearing face coverings before COVID made them fashionable:
Quite quickly after this decision was made, we realised that the perfect Avenger for Thomas to be was Vision. This is because Thomas is not like the rest of us in any way at all, just like Vision is not like any of the other Avengers, being made as he is of vibranium, the Mind Stone and a bunch of computer code. That's Thomas to a T.
We were distracted again for a few minutes as we imagined what the quay would have looked like two hundred years ago, when the tallships came into port. I said to Matthew that the slaves that were brought here probably didn't leave the ships at all, but will have stayed below decks while deals were done and cargo was unloaded and loaded, before they were shipped off to the Americas. Matthew wondered whether there might have been little rebellions sometimes if any slaves tried to escape. I'm going to read around this to see what I can find out. What I can't seem to find out is why Lancaster had anything to do with the slave trade at all, since it's a very small place and quite out of the way. To be investigated another day.
On the way back, it took Matthew quite some time to decide which Avenger I would be. But once he realised that he didn't have to limit himself to the girls, it was easier. 'Oh,' says he, 'you can only really be Thor then.' I think it's because I'm the biggest and the oldest, and I walk like a man. Which is fair enough. I'm happy with this. This is me:
By the time we got home, we had all of the Avengers assembled and the alien attack was very quickly thwarted after that. You're welcome.
Until tomorrow, you utter loonies.
WQ
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