Snatchems!

We're out of order today because this blog post has been hanging around with just its pictures and no words for a few days and I've not been able to find time to write it. This is from the day before yesterday, but really, does anyone care? They do not. As long as my rabid readers get to read seven posts a week, it doesn't matter what order they appear in.

Well, on this day, even though it was only Tuesday, I was already feeling tired, so we decided on a short walk to our little river spot. But as usual, we didn't quite walk where we intended to. 

And as usual, I started taking random photos of nothing particularly interesting, just in case we didn't get very far and I'd need some emergency pictures to ramble on about. Trees and a bit of undergrowth.

Scandinavian houses, those dear old friends. Actually, I was looking at houses for sale the other evening and one of our Scandinavian friends was featured! Should I buy it? Might be nice.  

'Matthew,' says I, 'do something funny so I can write about it.' He just looked at me like I was weird, which was fair enough, and tramped on ahead. I took a picture of the mud for you. It's been raining. Aren't you thrilled?

We got to where we usually turn off the river bank and make our way back onto the cycle track. Usually, we just go home at this point. But I looked at Matthew, and he looked back me, talking his head off about Yu-Gi-Oh and instructing me on how to do summoning techniques, and we agreed that we weren't quite ready to go back inside. Conveniently, this was when I noticed that we could walk further down the river and didn't actually have to get off.

And what we found straight away was that it's even nicer down this end. Ooooh, look at that, eh? Very pretty. I guess the wind turbines aren't all that pretty, but hey, they're generating clean energy so let's give them a break.

We were both feeling pretty good, so we agreed that we should just keep walking for as long as we could until we got wobbly legs and had no choice but to turn home.

And THEN! Something amazing happened! We found a Stargate! Oh yeah, we did. A stargate to another part of the universe. This was a little bit sad at the same time because this stargate isn't used anymore. We couldn't get it to work at all, not even a spark of life from it. Such a shame because I'd have been well up for popping off across the other side of the Milky Way. Ah well, never mind.

We carried on, and then we spotted a destination. It's always good to have a destination for the walk in the end, even if you don't know where that might be when you set off. Our destination was just over there, right in the middle of the shot – the Golden Ball at Snatchems. Yep, you 'eard me, the Golden Ball ... at Snatchems. Go on, guess why the little place is called Snatchems. I'll give you as long as it takes to scroll past the next photo ... 3, 2, 1 ... Go!

You might have guessed that the name comes from the time that Lancaster was a thriving port in the 1700s, and as the tall ships were heading out to sea at high tide, the captain would send a boat across to the little inn and his officers would 'snatch' men into service. So, exactly the same as being pressed by a press gang. Cool, eh? Perhaps not for the men who were snatched.

Ah, I had not counted on there being a muddy channel between us and the pub. I also hadn't counted on the smell around here – my good giddy god, it was pungent. I mean, it smelled absolutely rank, like there were dead sheep bodies hidden in the grass. Nonethless, I was determined that we'd make it to the pub because I'm a bit single minded once I've decided something.

Couldn't go towards the water, obviously, because channels just get wider as they join the main river. That's just science. Or geology. Or something.

We'd have to go inland a little bit. But hell's teeth, I was sure that was where the smell was coming from. We'd just have to brave it out because I had no intention of wading through the mud, and we absolutely never give up and go back the way we came because we're warriors.

Well, whaddya know – a dead sheep body. I told you many weeks ago that I'd seen a dead sheep around here years ago. Actually, this was the second dead sheep we'd seen this week, because there was that recently probably drowned one at the Crook o' Lune. 

Let's move swiftly on because I know Auntie Trish won't want to linger over this photo.

I suspected that the smell was not the dead sheep but rather this elephant graveyard. Now, we all know it's not really an elephant graveyard because we don't have wild elephants in the UK, but that's just what we thought it looked like. If you want to look closer, you might see the odd sheep bone – they are there, but we didn't stick around too long because the pong really was starting to become overwhelming. 

Let's look at some more pleasant scenery, shall we? Here's some innocent and kindly looking grass – or so you'd think! But no, this is where the will o' the wisp lives, waiting to drag unsuspecting travellers to their watery deaths. He's a swine. It's swampy here and you can lose a shoe if you're not careful. That's how the will o' the wisp gets you these days – steals your shoe and then grabs you while you're looking for it.

It's not safe round here, I tell you.

Anyway, we made it to our destination. It was closed, but we knew that would be the case, obviously. It's a pub, and them's the rules. We couldn't get to the benches so we just sat on the pavement and drank our tea – yes, that's right, we remembered our flask of Earl Grey today. 

And d'you know, it was the most gorgeous evening so far this year. There was no breeze at all, which is quite unusual for a riverside. It was a warm and still evening and we just sat for ages, watching the river birds (couldn't quite tell what they were, sorry), and trying to work out why we could hear splashing. 

In the end, we worked it out – bits of silty mud bank were falling into the water, like little melting ice shelves. It was quite hynotic to watch.

I noticed as well that beyond the tree line and a little bit further still was where I walked with my brother the other day. It's like all of my walks are starting to link up, and eventually I'll have walked every path in the whole of Lancaster.

But, it was a work night and also we still hadn't eaten, so we couldn't possibly sit there all evening. We headed back, but we agreed that we couldn't face the dead sheep smell again, so we found the cycle track instead. I was a bit nervous because it follows the local tip (dump, I think, if you're American – we did discuss this, Matthew and I) and I wasn't sure if the smell from there would be any better, but we had to get home somehow.

Hmmm, Oxcliffe Dyke Tidal Flap. If anywhere sounds like it might be smelly, it's this. I'll just leave you with that thought.

Well, Matthew had finally got to the end of telling me about summoning around this time (even though he'd told me right at the start of the walk that it wouldn't take very long to explain this extremely complicated card game), which was fortunate because we were nearly home. We strolled across this field because there were people at the other end of it and we didn't want to accidentally get too close to them. Matthew told me that he rather likes social distancing and will be sad that he has no reason to keep away from people when it's over. I think most of us can understand that.

Until tomorrow, or whatever day we're on ... I think it's Friday next, but it might be Thursday. No one knows.

WQ