On work weeks, it gets to, say, Wednesday, and each night until the weekend I say to Matthew, 'I think I'll have a night off the walking,' and he says, 'okay, Mother,' because you'll recall that he calls me Mother. And then it gets to 9pm and I start to get twitchy, and I feel a bit bad about having a night off so I go out anyway. This was one such evening. It's silly really, because there's no need for me to feel guilty about anything – if I don't take a daily walk, no one gets hurt and no one is offended. Maybe it's some leftover Catholic guilt, but that doesn't seem likely because I haven't been Catholic for about 33 years, and I'm not sure I was ever a proper one anyway. Maybe it's just part of the human condition.
Whatever it is, it did get me outside again this evening and that's probably a good thing because I've spent a lot of hours sitting at my desk this week. So yay for movement!
I didn't stray very far at all from my house this evening, but, marvellously, I did manage to walk 1.9 miles. I talked to myself quite a lot, rehearsed conversations with people I'd like to have words with (that's not so weird, I know loads of people do it), and allowed the gale (it's dead windy tonight) to blow away the week's cobwebs.
I kept trying to take a photo of my shadow to see if it looks any thinner, but it was stupidly stretched so impossible to tell. D'you know, despite 60 days of walking (albeit with a handful of missed days) and quite a lot of miles, I haven't lost a single pound. What's that all about?! Meh, who cares.
I don't have massive hair or a giant head – I've got the fluffy hood pulled up on my winter coat because it was that cold out tonight.
The sky was very dramatic this evening. It feels like there's a summer storm coming. I think it tried to be stormy last night but didn't quite manage it. Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry – I've run out of interesting things to say and am reduced to talking about the weather. Dear gods, I need to find some new walks this weekend else I'll be sending us all potty.
I really was wandering aimlessly this evening, but I quite liked it. I wasn't seeing anything new, I wasn't really looking for anything, and I wasn't under any pressure. I think what I was doing was just being ... that's it, just being. Stretching my legs, breathing and lifting my head up to look out into the world. It might be a bit dull for you to see the same old pictures of the same old streets, but it's not boring to be out there at all. It's just very pleasant. Me, my feet, the road and the sky.
This is what the iPhone 11 does to the night. The dramatic one on the left is what the sucking-the-light-in camera wants to show you. The very dark one on the right is what the street really looked like. Lies, iPhone 11 ... LIES!
I passed one of our ice cream vans. I say 'ours', but I'm not a proper Macari. Just a little bit of a Macari. Mmmm, I could really fancy an ice cream just now ... at midnight.
Heavens to Betsy, what are those mystical lights yonder?! Aliens? Fairies? Gods? Pack it in iPhone, for goodness' sake, stop putting a technicolor spin on everything!
This was the bit where I properly started to wander aimlessly. Several times I almost reached my house but doubled back and went down a different street, just because I wasn't quite ready to go in.
I can't really remember now what it felt like to be so lacking in energy that I struggled to make it round the little block without collapsing. I do still feel tired by Friday, but not in the same way at all. If you can, if you're not fully isolating or shielding someone vulnerable right now, do some walking – honestly, you'll feel better. I won't get too preachy, but I really am completely astonished at how much this walking has changed me. Bad thoughts have all gone, I sleep better, I smile and laugh a lot more – just all positives and no negatives at all.
But here endeth the lesson.
This is how windy it was tonight – half of the new leaves have been blown off the trees and it looks like autumn, except that the leaves are green instead of red and orange.
It's the weekeeeeeeeend, which doesn't necessarily meaning anything to lots of people, but it does to me because I don't work weekends anymore so they're precious. We haven't had our idea yet, but Matthew and I are keen to walk somewhere different. Let's see where we end up.
Until tomorrow, windy-pops.
WQ
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